


have you tried turning him on and off again

by loadtocontinue (Cha_haya)



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Aphrodisiacs, Blow Jobs, Comedy, Drugged Sex, Food Metaphors, Kitchen Sex, M/M, Mushrooms, Olive Oil as Lube, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, aka niki 'flirts' briefly with mayoi, references to cannibalism, tagged to be safe. but it's completely consensual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:21:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28082325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cha_haya/pseuds/loadtocontinue
Summary: You know those mushrooms you found in the woods? Yeah, it turns out they're aphrodisiacs. And you'll never guess what your food-stealing roommate did with them.(Niki gets his hands on some mysterious mushrooms. Then Rinne getshishands on those mysterious mushrooms, and then Rinne gets his hands on Niki, and then everyone has a really great time.)
Relationships: Amagi Rinne/Shiina Niki
Comments: 8
Kudos: 66





	have you tried turning him on and off again

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this before they revealed Rinne and Niki now live in the dorms… Just assume Niki’s parents are still paying rent on the apartment ~~because they dgaf what Niki does~~ or something, so Niki uses the place as an extra pantry/additional storage/sex den.
> 
> Thanks to Luci, Slug, and Coochie for beta-reading this <3\. Love you all!!

The first Overnight Outdoors Party camping trip was a resounding success! Sure, Tsukinaga and Tenma capsized a canoe and nearly drowned, Mayoi got knocked unconscious when the fish he’d proudly reeled in whacked him across the face, Niki accidentally set his own toothbrush on fire, and Kiryuu almost got into a fistfight with a bear, but other than that, it was a pretty chill and relaxing weekend! Spending time away from Crazy:B really did wonders for Niki’s blood pressure.

But after three days and two nights of roughing it in the woods, Niki was ready to head back home. He misses his modern day conveniences, like hot baths and not getting bitten by mosquitos. Also, he _does_ really need a new toothbrush.

Really, though, it was a great trip. Niki even got to take home a plethora of food! The group ate all the fish they’d caught (including that feisty trout that had bitch-slapped Mayoi), but they also foraged for a bunch of edible plants, some of which Niki is bringing back home to cook. Some of these plants really would taste best deep-fried as tempura, and he neglected to bring along the necessary supplies, like cooking oil and his mother’s carbon steel wok-- a mistake he would _not_ be repeating next time.

Cooking the plants at home wouldn’t be _so_ bad, though. Niki’s looking forward to sharing the fruits of his harvest with the rest of Crazy:B-- he always delights in feeding that sweet spring child Kohaku new foods, and HiMERU has some semblance of a refined palette, so his opinions are appreciated. And Rinne can come too, Niki supposes. Mom always did say it was bad manners to exclude people, and Niki’s nothing if not a good boy.

Oh, yeah. Niki and Mayoi found some strange mushroom growing on the side of a tree. Mayoi said he had seen the specimen in a book of medicinal plants and fungi a while ago, so he knew they weren’t dangerous to eat, but he’d forgotten if they were exactly edible. Niki heard “not dangerous” and immediately started harvesting them, but Mayoi made him _promise_ not to eat them until he got back home and could verify that they were safe to consume.

Niki was very much looking forward to that verification, but Kiryuu just dropped off Niki at his apartment, and it’ll take a while longer for him to drop the others off at the dorm… So Niki’s got time to burn. Niki dumps all his luggage and food inside his apartment, texts Rinne that he’s back, and wanders over to the convenience store to buy a new toothbrush.

The nice convenience store clerk who he befriended because she was a former coworker’s aunt or something asks how Niki’s weekend went during checkout, and he happily tells her about his camping trip and the dangers of lighter fluid. During their conversation, Niki thinks he hears his phone going off, but the clerk is sharing her foolproof method for butter-basting fish fillets, and Niki is trying to pay attention.

It’s only when he steps out of the convenience store and begins to head home that Niki finally checks his phone. He finds five missed calls from Rinne.

Whoa there, someone’s desperate for attention. That’s kiiiinda embarrassing.

However, before Niki can fully process what possible reason Rinne could have for blowing up his phone, his phone rings again. This time, it’s Mayoi!

“Hiya, Mayo-chan!” Niki answers immediately. “ _Oh_ my gosh, how are you?”

“Hello, Shiina-san,” Mayoi politely responds. “Um, I’m fine, thank you very much. We saw each other off less than an hour ago.”

“Oh, my bad!” Niki laughs. “You’re totally right! Completely slipped my mind! I’m sure you smell as delicious now as you did then.”

There’s a moment of silence between them. Whoops. Did that come off too strong? That definitely came off too strong. Yikes.

“Sorry,” Niki apologizes.

“Um. Anyway,” Mayoi says, apparently choosing to ignore Niki’s comment, a decision which Niki completely respects. “I, uh, found the mushroom you found. In my book. Like I said I would.”

“Ooh, really? Nice, nice!” Niki says. “What’s your book say?”

“Oh, so, the mushroom is called…” Mayoi tells him the scientific name of the fungi, then the common name, then its growing range, then its general description and this is all swell and nice, but Niki really only needs to know one thing about the mushroom.

“That is so cool!” Niki says during a lull in conversation. “So, like, this thing is edible, right?”

Mayoi pauses. “It, um. I mean, it seems I was correct about how consuming it-- Well, it wouldn’t kill you.”

“So they are edible, then?” Niki's already got ideas spinning in his head about what to make these 'shrooms into. He's thinking they'd taste great grilled-- Ooh, or maybe it'd be better to sauté them? Hmm, choices, choices!

“Ah, um--” Mayoi hesitates. “Well, they-- they aren't _not_ edible…”

“Soooo…” Niki says. “They _are_ edible?"

Mayoi makes a noise of distress. “Well, technically, but, um…”

C’mon. They're either edible, or they aren't. There’s no third category-- well, no. Niki supposes that, for lactose intolerant people, milk could be in a third category. The “you can eat me, but watch out!” category. Maybe that’s what Mayoi means? Feeling quite clever at his deductive skills (HiMERU would be proud!), Niki waits patiently for Mayoi to respond. 

Mayoi remains silent, perhaps struggling to find the proper words. Just as Niki’s about to speak up again, though, he whines and finally says, “It, um… The book says there are certain… side effects of consumption.”

“Side effects?” Niki asks, bewildered. “What, like hallucinations?” If that's the case, then no thank you! Niki will eat anything, but he's afraid of what he might do if he loses control of his body. If he lost the ability to feel hunger, he could very well quickly starve to death, couldn’t he?

“It's not _that_ bad!” Mayoi rushes to assure him. “It's not that bad… But…” 

“I am on the edge of my seat, Mayo-chan,” Niki says. “What?"

“It'sanaphrodisiac,” Mayoi blurts out.

Niki blinks. “A what?”

“It's… an aphrodisiac.”

“Oh!” Niki exclaims. An aphrodisiac!

Niki pauses. Thinks. Scratches his head.

“… Uh, so what's an aphrodisiac?” he asks.

Mayoi makes a noise of what might be distress. “It's-- Oh, you know!”

“I do not.” If they’d taught what an aphrodisiac was in middle school, Niki wasn't paying attention.

“It's a-- It's a type of drug!” Mayoi stutters out. “An aphrodisiac is a type of drug-- or, uh, any substance, I suppose, since in this case, it’s a mushroom-- and it makes you h-h-horny! It makes you-- It makes you turned on.”

“Ohhh,” says Niki. “What, so like Viagra?”

“No! That’s not what Viagra does!”

“Isn’t it?”

Mayoi launches into a very thorough explanation of what Viagra _actually_ does, and it contains a lot of big words like “erectile dysfunction” and “phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitor” that honestly fly into one ear and right out the other, but Niki makes the appropriate conversation noises and tries his best to understand, and he feels like he kinda gets the gist of it by the end. It was a very informative lecture, and Niki appreciates the new knowledge. Although this has nothing to do with his mushrooms at all.

They’re getting off track. Anyway, it sounds like eating something that’ll make you horny still sounds like a pain to deal with, so Niki supposes he's going to have to throw those mushrooms out. He tells Mayoi as much as he walks up the stairs to his apartment.

Mayoi coughs. “I-If you don't want them, then could I… you know, maybe I could take them…?”

Niki _does_ hate to waste food. Even if they have unfortunate side effects. “Well, I don't see why not--”

Niki pauses as he opens his front door. It’s unlocked, which isn’t surprising; Rinne should have arrived home by now. But the smell is… off. The scent coming out of the apartment smells a bit more… sultry than it had been when Niki had left for the store.

Niki cautiously takes a step in.

Well, Rinne’s definitely in here; there are his shoes, right by the door.

“Um!” Mayoi speaks up, startling Niki. He’d forgotten he was still on the line. “Shiina-san, I-I swear I wasn't planning anything suspicious with them!”

“Oh, sorry, hold on a second,” Niki tells Mayoi, before moving his phone away from his ear. “Rinne-kun, I’m hooome!”

There’s a noise in the kitchen. That must be where Rinne is.

Niki rounds the corner, and look! Rinne is indeed in the kitchen, and he is… not wearing pants. Umm. Wow.

Huh, Rinne’s entire pale, scrawny ass is out. What’s up with that?

Sensing Niki’s presence, Rinne turns to face him from where he’s standing with a hand braced against the counter. His other hand… His other hand is wrapped around his cock, which is standing red and angry, kinda like Rinne when someone disrespected women within his earshot.

“Nikiii,” Rinne whines. His face is an interesting shade of red, and his pupils are blown so dark that Niki's barely able to see the blue.

He’s… turned on?

Niki’s gaze snaps to the bag of foraged mushrooms that he left on the counter. It’s been opened.

Niki’s three remaining braincells connect the dots. “Oh, fuck.”

“Sh-Shiina-san?!” Mayoi’s voice calls from the phone.

“Uh, hey, Mayo-chan, sorry, but I'll call you back later.”

“Wait, wha--” Niki hangs up before Mayoi can finish, and Rinne immediately pounces on him, tackling Niki to the ground.

“Rinne-kun?!”

“Nikiii,” Rinne repeats.

“Um. Aha, weird question, but did you eat those mushrooms?”

“Mmhmm,” Rinne nods. He buries his face into Niki’s neck. The cold press of Rinne's nose into his clavicle sends a shiver down his spine, and Niki forces down a strangled groan as Rinne sniffs, excitedly nosing him like an overexcited dog.

“Soo, it kinda turns out those mushrooms were aphro-- aphro-- uh, aphrodites,” Niki says.

“Aphrodisiacs,” Rinne corrects, taking off his shirt. It’s soaked wet with sweat.

“Yeah, that.”

“Holy fuck,” Rinne huffs. His crotch keeps bumping up against Niki’s crotch, like an aggressive driver rear-ending an SUV with a “Baby on Board” sign. “You idiot. Just leavin’ something like that out where anyone could eat it, what the fuck!”

Niki feels like there could be a lesson to be learned here about the dangers of stealing other people’s foods, but Rinne does have a point. Man, it’s a super-duper good thing those mushrooms weren’t _actually_ poisonous or anything, or else Niki might’ve come home to Rinne lying dead in the kitchen. Next time, he’s gotta make sure to hide any foods of dubious lethality.

“Nahaha, I’m sorry…” Niki giggles nervously. Nervous, and a little turned on. Rinne won’t quit rubbing his body against Niki’s body. “Hey, sooo, uh, what'd they taste like? Those mushrooms,” Niki asks, in an attempt to delay the inevitable.

“Chicken,” Rinne hums, like it's the sexiest thing imaginable. And then: “You should fuck me.”

Wow! Niki delayed the inevitable for a grand total of, like, five seconds. He sighs, resigning himself to the consequences of his actions. “Yeah, okay.”

“Now take your goddamn pants off,” Rinne near whines.

Niki _could_ point out that he’s having trouble doing that because he’s got a lapful of redhead sitting on top of him, but he chooses to be the metaphorical bigger man and just pushes Rinne off instead. Then he stands up and takes his pants off. Then he sits back down between Rinne’s skinny, milk-white thighs, and admires the view. Then Niki realizes that they don’t have lube here and starts to stand up to look for it.

But Rinne grabs him as a desperate housewife lunges for the last carton of 50% off eggs at the local grocery store and stops Niki dead in his tracks.

“Wha--”

“Where are you going?” Rinne demands.

“Gotta get the lube,” Niki says. They are never going to fuck without lube again, ever. Not after what happened last summer.

Rinne chews on his lip for a second, looking reluctant to let Niki go. Then a flash of realization goes through his eyes, and he opens the cupboard by his head, pulls out a bottle, and hands it to Niki.

“… This is truffle oil,” Niki says. His parents had sent it as a souvenir from Italy.

Rinne sighs. “Oil can be used as lube,” he says, as if explaining something to a small child.

“What? No!” Niki yells. “Not _this_ oil! Do you know how expensive this stuff is?!”

“Wha-- I literally don't care. Hurry up.”

“This is genuine truffle oil! It’s _expensive!”_

“The hell, are you saying I’m not worth it?”

“Yes,” Niki says without hesitation. “Pick a different oil!”

“Why’re you so goddamn picky?” Rinne huffs, pulling out a different bottle.

Niki’s eyebrows rise into his hairline when he sees Rinne’s pick. “You want to put _chili oil_ on your junk?!"

“Ugh,” Rinne groans, pulling out a third bottle. 

It’s extra virgin olive oil. Okay. Okay. Niki can work with this.

Niki drizzles a generous amount over Rinne’s nether regions. He feels like he’s seasoning a saucepan. “Fuckin' finally,” Rinne hisses. Some of the oil splatters onto his cock, and it glistens under the kitchen’s white lights, throbbing in anticipation despite the impatience in Rinne’s voice.

Niki huffs. “Well, sor—ry if I’m concerned about putting chili oil on your genitals!”

“I think I-- ah, I think I could’ve handled it.” Rinne stutters as Niki puts his hand on his dick, stroking up and down to get the oil all over.

“Sure, Rinne-kun,” Niki says, before tossing his ponytail back over his shoulder and ducking his head down to wrap his mouth around Rinne’s cock.

Rinne shivers at the sensation, then asks, “H-Hey, how do _I_ taste?”

“Um, like olive oil?” says Niki, swiping his tongue over his lips.

Niki hears Rinne sigh above him. Oh, what does Rinne want him to say? That he tastes like the nectar of the gods, that one taste has him weak in the knees for more? He doesn’t taste _that_ great.

Now, maybe if Niki were to add some rosemary and thyme… 

Rinne’s dick is rock hard and hot like a rotisserie chicken ten minutes out of the oven. It’s also stupidly big. Rinne likes to deepthroat Niki, but Niki has trouble reciprocating. Either Rinne’s cock is too big or Niki’s mouth is too small, and Niki likes to think it isn’t the latter. After all, Niki’s been trying his very best to learn how to dislocate his jaw like a snake in order to increase his oral capacity.

In any case, Niki can’t get all of Rinne in his mouth at once, so he settles for rubbing his tongue against that big vein on his dick and loosely strokes the rest, which always makes Rinne sigh pleasantly and tremble all over.

The salty taste of precum fills Niki’s mouth. Eeeh. Yeah, it just tastes like snot. Rinne’s flavor isn’t anything to write home about.

But the sounds. Oh, the sounds. Rinne’s honeyed, dripping moans, stuttering over every syllable when Niki draws up, slipping his lips over the edge of his cockhead. They all make up for any sort of unpleasantness. Rinne is so reactive, it’s fun to see what kind of noises Niki can drag out of his throat. Honestly, his whimpering voice is better than a-- than a hot fudge sundae on a sweltering summer day. And just as sweet.

Swiping his hand through the olive oil collected on Rinne’s stomach, Niki gets his fingers slippery enough to sink a finger into Rinne’s hole. They go in easy enough, warm flesh making way to welcome the intrusion. Rinne whines above him. Niki works in another finger and feels around for that sweet spot.

He knows he’s found it when Rinne lets out a gasp and his hips jerk up. Niki has to hold him down before Rinne chokes him with his dick. Death by dick is _not_ how Niki wants to go. It’s probably third place on Niki’s list of “worst ways to die”, after “starvation” but before “getting run through a meat grinder” (first place is, of course, “food poisoning”).

Niki traces his tongue around the head of Rinne’s cock while his other hand rubs up against the squishy walls of Rinne’s insides. The noises Rinne lets out are downright symphonic. Crap, Niki’s getting kinda hard himself. He should probably finish up with the foreplay and stick his dick in soon--

Suddenly, at the same time that Rinne’s dick twitches in his mouth, a hand grabs at Niki’s hair. “Nng-- fuck, I’m gonna c--” And then all at once, the salty taste of semen floods Niki’s mouth as Rinne comes.

A little more warning would have been nice! Caught off guard, some of the semen drips out the corners of Niki’s mouth. Still, Niki swallows down what _does_ end up in his mouth like a champ, and then he takes the next few minutes to delicately lick Rinne clean of the rest of the white fluid.

Rinne seems to be panting up at the ceiling as all of this is happening, but he speaks up again when Niki swallows the last drop of semen and sits back on his haunches. “Nice,” he says. “Now use your dick.”

Niki sighs but takes his cock out of his briefs anyway. Man, Rinne’s so much cuter when he’s incoherent. “Yeah, yeah, you don’t need to be so rude about it.”

“Fuck me with your cock, _please_.”

“A bit of sincerity couldn’t hurt,” Niki grumbles, reaching for the bottle of olive oil to pour some onto his dick. Belatedly, he realizes that using the hand that was jerking Rinne off to handle a food’s container is _pretty_ unsanitary, but he resolves to wash the bottle thoroughly before the next time he cooks with the olive oil.

“If I don’t get your cock in me in the next twenty seconds, I might die.” Rinne pauses, then adds, “Pretty please?”

“Why are you so mean to me?” Niki complains, but he supposes this is as good as he’s gonna get. He pulls Rinne up into his lap by the hips and shoves himself in.

Rinne gasps delightedly. Niki is tempted to mimic him or to maybe just start crying out of how _good_ it feels; Rinne’s warm insides open up readily to accept his cock, and the sensation is as toe-curling pleasant as always.

Niki thrusts slowly at first, because he is a gentleman, but Rinne gets impatient and whacks him in the back with his heel, because he is to a gentleman what good mental health is to a Yumenosaki student. Gritting his teeth against the pain, Niki snaps his hips forwards and drives into Rinne with twice the speed as before.

“Yes, yes!” Rinne sobs, spine arching elegantly off the ground, fingers scratching frantically at the floorboards. It’s cute, watching him lose control. Niki wants to mess him up more. He wants to see him cry, wants to record the exact moment he slams in and Rinne chokes, eyes rolling to the back of his head, while his cock weeps, harder than when it was in Niki's mouth. Rinne’s usually such a proud sort of guy, so seeing him crying always makes some sort of pang go off in Niki’s chest-- is it sadistic glee? Affection? Protective instincts? Who knows!

Niki pulls Rinne’s leg over his shoulder, making Rinne squeak. It takes a second to reposition himself before he can resume his thrusting, but oh-- this new position, this is nice. He can rut deeper into Rinne’s insides this way. Rinne seems to feel the new angle as well, his hand coming up to cover his mouth as he lets out a particularly loud moan.

Niki giggles, lightheaded. “Why’re you holding it in? Let me hear you.” He reaches for Rinne’s dick and takes it in hand, swiping his thumb over the head in time with his thrusting.

Rinne whines, his body trembling as he stares at the point where their two bodies meet with misty eyes. Niki thrusts in, and Rinne groans at the sight of his own body opening up to accept Niki's cock. “F-- Fuck, Niki.” 

“Mhmm,” Niki agrees. He snaps his hips, nails Rinne’s prostate, and Rinne throws his head back, howling out a moan. Lovely. Niki wants to mark up that pale column of a neck, but Rinne doesn’t like visible marks, so Niki settles for chewing on the inside of Rinne’s lanky thigh instead. His pale skin always bruises so easily, and Niki likes watching the hickeys turn wine-red. The two marks he left last week before he went away on the camping trip are now a mottled purple, and Niki thumbs at them excitedly, hungry at the way the skin dimpled and flushed warm. 

“Ngh-- Niki--” Rinne sobs.

“Mm?”

“I’m gonna-- I’m gonna--”

“You’re gonna come?” Niki coos.

Rinne nods frantically.

Niki smiles indulgently, fisting Rinne’s cock and jerking him off. “Okay. Go ahead.”

Rinne falls apart gorgeously, hand clutching at his hair as his mouth opens around a voiceless scream. His insides do that thing where they clamp down really tight, and Niki moans as the sensation forces an orgasm out of him as well.

It’s intense enough that Niki has to blink white spots out of his vision after he comes down from the high. Wowie, that was nice!

Niki drops a wet smooch on Rinne's forehead and then a few on his cheeks until Rinne whines and starts pushing his face away. When he pulls out of Rinne and flops down on the floor beside him, Niki’s giggling.

“Hey.”

Rinne looks at him. “Mm.”

Niki laughs at his brevity. “Wow, Rinne-kun, that good?”

“Mmmaybe. None of your business.”

What do you mean none of his business? Who gave you that orgasm? At least have the courtesy of leaving a proper review… 

“Welcome back, by the way,” Rinne grunts.

Niki beams at him. “Awww, didja miss me? You did, didn’t you? I bet you did!”

Rinne sighs. “I suppose I did miss you. And by 'you', I mean 'your dick'. … And your cooking, I guess.”

As always, Niki can't get any respect in his own home. But he’s in a good enough mood that he lets Rinne have it. “Ooookay,” Niki says, stretching. “I’m gonna take a bath. I haven't had a proper bath in daaays.”

“Ewww, stinky.”

“At least I smell like the great outdoors. _You_ smell like tobacco and beer.”

This is untrue. Actually, Rinne currently smells like Niki. It's… a little distracting and a _lot_ intoxicating. And, uh, if Niki doesn’t get away from the stench soon, he’s gonna pop another boner over it.

Rinne tugs at his leg as Niki gets up. “Heyyy. Take me with you. Let’s bathe together.”

Niki rolls his eyes. “Um, take yourself. You’ve got legs, don’t you?”

“You fucked all my strength out of my legs, asshole. And then you came in me, you animal. Carry me,” Rinne demands.

So Niki half-drags him into the bathroom, Rinne laughing all the while. Niki’s sitting Rinne down in front of the showerhead when he realizes…

Niki blinks. “You’re still hard.”

Rinne looks down. “Huh. I guess I am.”

They both stare at Rinne’s engorged penis for a few more seconds.

When Niki finally manages to peel his eyes away from it, he notices something on the other side of the room. “Oh,” he says.

“Mm?”

“I found the lube.” Niki points at where it is, sitting innocuously by the bathtub.

“Huh. You sure did.”

Niki thinks about pretending he doesn’t see it and continuing on with his shower, but then Rinne leans in a little closer, and Niki catches a whiff of his own scent coming off of him.

Aaand just like that, Niki is also hard. Incredible. It’s like those matching couple t-shirts, except instead of t-shirts, they’re sporting matching boners.

They end up using the lube. They end up using a _lot_ of lube. They end up going at it twice in the bathroom, and then a few more times on the bed, which they move to after Rinne nearly gives himself a concussion slipping on the slippery tiles.

To be honest, Niki’s surprised their next-door neighbor hasn’t started banging on the walls to complain about the noise like she usually does, but Rinne says (in between delighted gasps as Niki eats him out) that she’s out on a business trip. Thank goodness for small mercies.

Niki almost passes out from hunger somewhere between Rinne’s fourth and fifth orgasm, but Rinne shoves an energy bar in his throat while he rides him, and Niki chews on it while contemplating the very pretty noises Rinne makes every time he sinks down on Niki’s cock. After he’s done with the energy bar, Niki manages to muster enough strength to push Rinne down into the mattress and fuck him until a delicious sob tears its way out of his throat.

“My dick hurts,” Niki complains afterwards, munching on another energy bar. Ugh, he’s getting crumbs all over the bed. Whatever. He’ll make Rinne clean up in the morning. It’s the least he could do after Niki dicked him down, like, four times in a row. Or was it five?

“Aw, want me to kiss it better?” Rinne teases. His voice is rough, like he has just finished screaming for a prolonged amount of time. Which he has.

“Absolutely not,” Niki says. “Buzz off. Don’t you dare come anywhere near my dick.”

“On the contrary, my dear Niki-kyun,” Rinne chuckles. “I’d say I recently came _on_ your dick.”

Niki gathers up the last of his strength and shoves Rinne as hard as he can. Rinne’s eyes widen as he starts to slip off the side of the bed, but he grabs Niki’s arm just as he goes over the edge, and they both go tumbling onto the floor. Wow.

"I guess I should throw out those mushrooms," Niki sighs, once they’re back on the bed, blanket thrown haphazardly on top of them.

Wait, didn't Mayoi say he wants the mushrooms? Niki can't imagine what for, but thinking's never been his strong suit, anyways. "Or I guess I can give them to Mayo--"

"Niki," Rinne says.

"Hm?"

"Keep them."

Niki thinks about it.

"Maybe a few."

"No, keep all of them!"

"Huh?! No way, no way, you’re just gonna use them for evil, I just know it!”

“Aww, c’mon, you sayin’ you don’t wanna try cooking anything with them? You'll need more than just a few ‘shrooms to make much of any dish.”

The worst thing about this is that Rinne is right.

“And then we can fuck afterwards,” Rinne says happily. “Hey, you know, it’ll be just like dessert!”

_The worst thing about this is that Rinne is right!_

“Fine,” Niki concedes.

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Snakes cannot actually dislocate their jaws. This is a myth.


End file.
